1) How to successfully make conversation at a bar

Oh right, up to this point in my life I’ve always been in social situations with large groups of people I know and/or am forced to live with (freshman year).

Yes, I’m writing this at 1 AM on a Thursday after having a bit to drink. I have Torts in 8 hours even.

Law school doesn’t exactly suck so far. I figure if my least favorite class is Criminal Law, I’m doing OK. The professors are decent to enjoyable. My apartment is awesome. My roommates are friendly and considerate. Lexington the town isn’t getting to me nearly as much as I expected.

So, what to complain about?

It takes me too long to get comfortable in a group of people. This is a reality I cannot get around. In college it took me almost two school years to get completely comfortable socially. I don’t have that grace period here. Why does it seem like everyone I meet is a fucking Type A personality? The thing is, eversince getting here, thanks largely to my roommates, I’ve fallen in with the “cool” crowd. You know, the people who drank every night from the day they got in town to the first day of classes. The fun people. And I feel like the tag-along. I mean, I sit at the bar and laugh along. I drink. I might comment once in a while.

It’s not like I’m trying to meet girls or anything. I don’t exactly feel lonely. I just want to make friends and interesting conversation. I just want to know what that “hook” I’m missing is. Will I ever have this hook?

Am I delusional because I’m looking forward to Friday’s Activities Fair so much? Fuck, this isn’t college. People (95% of them at least) don’t really give themselves over to extracurriculars.

Even the GF thinks that our conversations are getting dull.

I mean, have I peaked already in life? Was senior year of Haverford/the following summer at Double H/the year at the law firm the high point of my existence? I remember, I was a pretty big deal back then. I mean, I was overworked to an unbelievable degree and I was dating…. well, never mind…. but anyway. Is it all downhill from here?

In other news…

I love that the word “gunner” is a curse word in these parts.

I like Civil Procedure and Torts. Who woulda thunk it?

The Phillies are fucking amazing right now.

Sigur Ros’s Hoppippola (actually means Hopping Into Puddles) is the 21st century Ode to Joy.

I am so not worried about doing well in law school right now.

VMI military uniform guys will never stop startling me.

Things that I keep hearing about that I have no comprehension of: Eating Chef Boyardee, condiments as a meal, living on crackers, etc.; getting arrested; having a crazy older/younger brother/sister.

I still read Philadelphia news and music blogs, even though I know I shouldn’t tease myself.

1.5/2 hours of reading for every hour of class. For 3 years. That’s law school.

Current mp3 obsession: Sally Shapiro – I’ll Be By Your Side

I cannot wait to buy the new Mountain Goats record.

I will write more. This is good.

Who reads this shit anyway?

2. My first job was at a telephone survey place.

3. I am addicted to online Boggle.

4. I have been to the following countries:  Ukraine, Finland, Canada, Italy, Austria, Switzerland, Germany, USA, Israel.

5. I am deathly afraid of bees and wasps.

6. Dogs make me very uncomfortable.

7. I lost my virginity when I was 21.

8. The scariest thing I’ve ever done is jump off a medium (ok, small-medium) cliff up in Lake Luzerne, NY.

9. My dream car is a Saab hardtop convertible.

10. I want three kids. 2 older girls and 1 boy.

11. I once wanted to be a hematologist but I got thrown out of biology class sophomore year in high school.

12. I could have gone to Cornell University for undergrad but I turned it down in order to assert my independence from my family.

13. The 2000 New Jersey Governor’s School for Public Issues is a major turning point in my life.

14.  My favorite piece of clothing is a t-shirt saying “I Have Public Issues”.  The word “public” is in small print and people often think it says “pubic”.

15. I have a half-brother whom I’ve never met and of whom I know nothing.

16. I collect shotglasses from places that I’ve been. Sporadically.

17. My worst childhood memory is running into a metal pole while on a sled.

18. I think I read more books before I turned 10 than since.  And I don’t mean children’s books.

19. My Ipod is my most prized possession.

20. I dream of having two cockatiels, one of whom will be named Dewey Jr. and the other will be named Elliott (like a parakeet I have now, in honor of Elliott Smith).

21. Tom and Jerry is my all-time favorite cartoon.

22. I like to pace when I work, talk on the phone, and do most other things.

23. My dream home will have no carpet, only hardwood floors.

24. I can’t bring myself to care about environmental issues.

25. I am a good liberal except when I worry that progressives and pacifists also hate Israel.

26. When I was little I wanted to be a trash collector, because they got to ride around hanging on to the back of the dumpster trucks.
27. My first memory of America is riding through New York City on the way to New Jersey the night we arrived with all the lights on.

28. I was always good at math to keep my mother happy, but I never really enjoyed it.

29. On 9/11 Haverford had a big assembly in the afternoon to give people a place to vent and grieve. I wanted to get up and say that we are living one of those “where were you” days that our grandchildren will ask us about, but I was too shy to stand up.

30. I feel no shame stealing music because I always find ways to support the artists I believe to be truly good.

31. I think that naming one’s children after yourself is fucking stupid.

32. The biggest problem facing America today is the acceptance of divorce as OK.

33. I think abortions should be mandatory for pregnant women who do not have a high school diploma.

34. If I could have the life of anyone on Earth, I’d become Allen Iverson.

35. I am quite insecure about my appearance, especially the fact that I look so young.

36. Whenever I’m around a mirrored surface, I cannot stop looking at myself doing whatever it is that I am doing.

37. The best concert I’ve ever seen is the first one I’ve ever seen, Radiohead at Madison Square Garden in August of 2001.

38. I own three DVD’s, which I never watch.

39. I really hope Ned Lamont wins today.

Just to clarify, I actually want to be a public defender coming out of law school. That’s Plan A for me, not Plan Q.

I’m a little scared.

I’m ready.  I’ve got my first real apartment lease.  I’ve got my new Ikea double bed.  Yes, I have a big boy bed now.   I’ve got my pack of legal pads.  I’ve got my long distance relationship.  I’m totally ready for law school.

This week I’ll be meeting the roommates and other classmates, hunting for more apartment crap, and pacing nervously.  I mean, I’m confident but not exactly.  I think I’ll do well actually.  I went to a fucking hard college and I think that gives me an edge.  Still, what if all that reading overwhelms me?

I seem to be doing much more thinking lately about decorating my room and about the DVR that we’re going to have in the place than about the actual work.  I have shite time management skills, but I still survived college.  Won’t work here.

I just don’t know what’s going to happen.

This isn’t a wannabe MP3 blog anymore.   I’m going to do my best to chronicle the year to come.

Let’s go South!

- Went to Six Flags Great Adventure last Friday. The place wasn’t too packed, but crowded. We were there from open to close. This was the most fun I’ve ever had at that park. All except the food service at the fucking shit Character Cafe was excellent.

Best ride of the day – Medusa. Can’t believe that thing is almost ten years old. It still packs a punch. Smooth, fast, intense, scary (especially in the front row). I will always love this ride. Next best – El Toro. This thing is just ridiculous. It’s fast, intense and has the best first drop I’ve ever experienced. It just yanks you over. I wish I’d gotten to do this one again, it was just an absolute blur the first time. Third best ride – Nitro. Always fun, and the best ride ops in the park make it even better.

Also good – Superman and the round tube water ride, which got us all completely soaked. We didn’t do Kingda Ka because I was fucking exhausted by the end of the day, we’ll get it next time.

- Went to Kimmel Center’s Summer Solstice event last Saturday night. This is basically an indoor festival, featuring all kinds of music from indie rock to classical. It was very well done. There was no artist that totally blew me away, but the Xande Cruz and the Batukis Band (Brazilian party jams) and Philly’s Buried Beds (indie folk) were very good. The Lion King cast cabaret and Josh Komorowski were also fun. I just love the Kimmel Center as a venue. This really made me wish that this building was used for such diverse music throughout the year. It’s nice to see the median age of the visitors drop below 65. Every night that the Philadelphia Orchestra isn’t playing Verizon Hall should be hosting medium-sized rock shows and the Pearlman Theater (the acoustics in there are insane) would kill with smaller shows. I can’t imagine hearing a band like Radiohead in Verizon Hall. I mean, it would just be otherworldly.

- Saw Superman Returns last night.  2 stars out of 5.  The good – the special effects and that plane scene in particular.  Just wow.  The film is beautiful.

Unfortunately, the plot is fucking terrible.  Ok, I don’t read comic books.  Never have.  I go to the comic book movies though because I want to have fun in a movie theater.  I like how popular and communal these films become.  I don’t just these films by the past or by the mythology.  It’s fun, when it’s good.  This one wasn’t.  I have many questions.

Why does no one die?  Ever?  On the plane, why doesn’t anyone die?  Is Lois Lane also superhuman, because she slammed into every wall of that motherfucker without even getting a concussion.  During the earthquake, why doesn’t anyone die?  What about the car sequence?  Why doesn’t anyone fucking curse?  I mean, come on!

Why is Kumar from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle in this?  Why does Lex Luthor’s plan make no fucking sense whatsoever?  Why would anyone want to have beachfront property on a fucking alien planet?  What is the point of Kitty?  That was the worst character in a film I’ve seen in ages.

And most importantly, how is it that no one can recognize Superman when he puts on a tie and glasses, and combs his hair down?  How can that be the premise of this film?  He has no mask!  This one concept just ruined the film for me.  Maybe you Americans have grown up with this ridiculous suspension of disbelief and have been brainwashed to accept it.  Well, I haven’t.  It’s stupid.  Just like this film, for the most part.

Oh, and why is the ending so damn boring?

- The World Cup returns tomorrow, should be two great games. Germany v. Argentina has been anticipated since the draw came out – I pick Argentina thanks to Messi. And then, the Motherland goes for broke against those cheating Italian fucks, who got so lucky in their last game, winning on a bullshit penalty. Of course, Ukraine played awfully last time also, but maybe that miracle penalty kick shutout will inspire them to not play boring anymore.

- This Fox News clip is just unbelievable. “You can’t pay your taxes, you can’t do anything else, IF YOU’RE DEAD!”

- Watched the NBA Draft last night almost all the way through. Rodney Carney might not end up sucking, but he’s too similar to Iguadola so I think the Sixers fucked up again. I would have liked them to trade up for Brandon Roy or Randy Foye (that pick would have been adored in the city and might have allowed them to get away with trading Iverson). Otherwise, the Draft was just hilarious television. The Sports Guy has the perfect recap. My favorite moment – Stephen A. Smith yelling that the Knicks need to draft a “dog”.

- Finished the second season of The Wire. Sheer brilliance. I mean, it’s just amazing television. Far and away my favorite show right now. I’m already into the third season – not as good simply because the incredibly compelling dockworker storyline blows away the wily politician arc. Still, brilliant.

- The authors of one of the most perfect albums I’ve ever heard, Arcade Fire, are working on a new album, according to Win Butler’s online journal.  They are using a whole bunch of new insturments, a full orchestra, and a fucking organ!  I mean, I just can’t wait for this album.  Get these guys in the Kimmel Center!

I’m off to HH on Saturday.  It’ll be three weeks of pure joy.

For now, go Shevchenko!

- The US is out, thanks to some brilliant coaching and pompous playing. Landon Donovan has been exposed as a fraud. Good looks will only get you so far.

- I just love the World Cup. I mean, it's just awesome. I watch a match, and then I read at least 3 live blogs about it afterward. It's beautiful. I don't want it to end.

- The Wire is the other current obsession. I have 26 or so hours of it on my hard drive. The show is so far superior to the Sopranos and most anything else on TV, it's unbelievable. No episode thus far is a letdown. A great mix of instant gratification and long narrative. I could watch the whole thing in a day and half if I had iron eyes.

- Going to Great Adventure on Friday with the GF and co. Oh man, can't wait. I've read a lot of El Toro reviews that sounds just like this. Sounds unbelievable.

- A totally on point examination of the World Trade Center Memorial. They have fucked this up so much, it's scary.

- Camp is almost a week a way.

- Current obsession: Sigur Ros – Hoppipola. No mp3, EZ Archive down. What an amazing song though.

On the whole, this day has blown.  

It started off with Ukraine getting ass reamed by Spain in the World Cup.  4 to zip!  Are you fucking kidding me?  Ukraine looked worse than any other team I've seen this week.  The US could beat them with 8 guys I think.  I don't believe they had a single scoring chance!  Come on!  And I was so ready to be proud of my motherland for once!

Then, off to Lexington. 

Things got ugly quickly.  I stopped at a random I-95 exit for lunch.  Chick-Fil-A.  Grilled chicken sandwich.  Nice. 

But wait, what is that music playing in the establishment?  I focus, try to listen.  Yep, my suspicions are true.

"Jesus Is The Answer".  They have the gospel station on.  And this is only Maryland!  It's not even the South!  I'm fucked!

Eventually I make to Virginia.  Driving on Route 81.  I cross a random river/creek.  Up near Harrisonburg.  More like a ditch.  Well anyway, it's big enought to have a name.

"Blacks Run".  

I'm so stopping to take a picture on the way home.  Just too good.  I so wish there was a comma after the first word.

I also enjoy evangelical Christian tractor trailers.  I really do.  You know, the ones with biblical verses on their sides and mentions of Jesus on their mudguards.  I will block you in and prosletize to you at the same time.  Thank you, truck!

Ok, so now I'm in Lexington.  I remember it, mostly.  Quaint, quiet, qute.  

Then, disaster struck.  I drive up to Foods International store, eager to check out Lexington's only sushi counter.  A sushi counter run  by Demi Moore's personal sushi chef from the set of GI Jane.  Not making that up.  

And it's closed.  The whole fucking store.  It's gone.  

No sushi.

I will die a slow maki-less death this fall.

There was only one moment today when I felt truly at home.  At one plaza, I saw a "Friedman's Jewelers".  Oh thank god, there are Jews here.  Maybe they hold High Holiday services at the store?  I can only hope.  I think the nearest real synagogue is an hour away.

So yeah, tonight I spent a lot of time memorizing the streets of Lexington.  We'll see how the house hunting goes tomorrow.  

Oh great, now the Phillies are getting destroyed by the Mets again, as a bonus. 

- Team of the tournament so far – tie between Ecuador and Italy. Ecuador ate Poland alive, which I always appreciate, and Italy looks like it's going to win this fucker despite all their scandals. Luca Toni (whose full name must be said at all times) is going to rule the world when this is over.

The Czech Republic doesn't get points for beating a US team that blows so much hot air it's fascinating. Oh yeah, America is really going to fall in love with soccer after this.

- The ESPN coverage blows. Their two best announcers – the two British dudes – are actually sitting in an American studio watching the feed, so they don't count. And it's the most flag-flying coverage I've ever seen, even beating NBC during the Olympics. I've been swithching over to Univision, which has a better picture AND is showing the shit without a 5 second delay! And they have better highlight packages! And they don't show that fucking annoying Jose +10 commercial during every break. Even though it is in Spanish – Adidas clearly knows that most "native" Americans are much more excited about Ben Rothlisberger's motorcycle accident. As a bonus, I get to claim that I'm learning Spanish to my mother, who has been on my ass for not taking a Spanish class in my spare time this year.

I mean, why do I need to do that anyway? I only plan to be an immigration lawyer.

- In related (and fucking disappointing) news, apparently Ed Rendell backed overturning Pennsylvania's motorcycle helmet requirement law a few years ago. Why, Ed, why? Are you being bought off by the Harley Davidson lobby? And I used to think that you'd make such an awesome President, cheesesteaks in the White House and all. Now, you're in bed with bikers and casino owners. Why?

- Tomorrow, the motherland finally joins the World Cup fray, against Spain. I'm totally excited about this. Ukraine all the way, we'll show those fucking Russians who's the read Daddy in the former USSR. Russia is sitting home now, and I'm a little worried Putin will get pissed off when Ukraine does well and turns off the motherland's electricity in spite.

- F.K.S. (Father Knows Shit) is this new blog I discovered today. It's just pure joy. I've been laughing hysterically for a half hour. I mean, can you beat this (as part of a live-blog of a day alone with his infant daughter):

3:12PM – I can hold the Girl with one hand and pee with the other.

- I learned of this site through the hilarious comments on Deadspin's JJ Redick DUI story. I can't say I despise JJ Redick too much personally, but I do despise his school (minus the graduate environmental department of course) and all that it stand for so this is all well and good. Very appropriately, JJ is wearing a half popped-collar Polo shirt in his mugshot.

Sadly, I own the same fucking Polo shirt!!! Same color even!

Please, let me explain. I bought it with a gift certificate I got for graduation (otherwise this would be the most expensive non-suit piece of clothing I own by a factor of 3). I feel fucking weird whenever I wear it (twice to work and once to impress the GF's family). And I NEVER pop the collar.

And I don't put gel in my hair.

And I don't drive drunk. Anymore. I did it once, survived, won't do it again.

- In other news, tomorrow I will venture down to Lexington for a couple of days. I don't think it actually hit me that I'm moving to Jackfack, VA until I started talking on the phone to Jackfuck landlords. I am especially looking forward to assessing a 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath "Villa" located somewhere "behind Walmart".

Oh god, I just want to get this over with. I mean, I'm going to be living in the library anyway, right? Isn't one of the reasons I picked W&L that they give each student their own sizeable library cubicle? When I was down there last year I was very impressed with how everyone decorates their boxes. Who needs an apartment?

- My new obsession in a summer of TV drought – HBO's The Wire. All it took was a 10 minute piece of an episode I saw randomly two nights ago. Politics, drugs, and cops. I need to be watching this! I'm currently anywhere from 3 to 78 hours away from having the entire last season on my hard drive thanks to Bit Torrent. After that, I'll download Season 2, and there go my books and my post-soccer nights for the rest of June.

- When will the day come that a US dignitary can make an ANNOUNCED visit anywhere in the Middle East?

- The Daily Show's goodbye to Zarqawi – You Had a Bad Day. Hilarious!!!

-  You know what the American auto industry's problem is?  Taglines like "You've got to put Mercury on your list"!  List of what?  The list of random copycat American brands that make boring-looking and boring-driving cars that have no longevity?

-  Entourage – great show.  Hilarious, original, biting, and sweet.  Lucky Louie?  Great new sitcom.  I mean, a family comedy with cursing – why hasn't this been done before?  They need to cut the scenes with Louie's washed up friends though – way too generic.  Anything with his daughter and wife though is gold.

- I have two cavities. Fuck!

Oh, I haven't left the house or anything.  I'm just having a solid day.

Let's see, 4+ hours of soccer first of all.  Germany destroyed Costa Rica and Ecuador surprised Poland.  

I'm so into this World Cup.  I might even get up at 9 tomorrow to watch England.  This is just what I needed to make it through the month of June!

-  I downloaded (and haven't yet listened to) the new Muse album, Low's The Great Destroyer, Neutral Milk Hotel, and the Stills' Without Feathers. 

-  Discovered a great new blog, Best Week Ever.  Some finds courtesy of those guys:

Weird Al – You're Pitiful  (James Blunt ripoff)

The Full House Career Pyramid (Uncle Jesse is on top!)

Bob Saget's Wikipedia bio.  This is fascinating!  Bob Saget is Jewish, he was born in Philly, and then moved to Lexington, VA!  Wow, what parallels we have!

Pop Slut Video – Paris Hilton's Stars Are Blind.  This is absolutely hilarious.  Seriously.  In other news, the song is fucking catchy!

I have just turned down going out tonight in favor of what?  Oy.  I'm a loser.

I mean, it's a great thing that they got this guy. It's a moral lift for the Iraqis and the troops. Couldn't they have taken him alive though? Special forces had that house surrounded! Having him in prison would make an even bigger statement in my book.

Imagine what happens when (if?) Bin Laden is ever found. They are going to blow him up, then put his body on a cross and drive it around Manhattan.

- Albert Pujols is juiced? Albert Pujols taking HGH? Ha! Baseball's great clean hope might be going down the toilet. According to Deadspin, the man who referred Jason Grimsley to sources who provided him drugs, Chris Mihlfeld, is Pujols' long time personal trainer! Oh shit now.